I don’t want it to change…
The world as we name it, defined as the the earth, together with all of its countries and peoples by google, seems to be getting distant as it seems to come closer not just spatially, but also, temporally, a glimpse of which I still perceive as I search for the above definition in by merely typing upon fighting procrastination, a few letters into a rounded long rectangular space as compared to searching for the word in the oxford english dictionary. Early morning mom’s wake up call for school has now been translated to hastily checking the phone for notifications after waking up midway through the day to catch. The early morning ritual of taking a shower, polishing shoes, ironing uniforms, getting a tiffin box full of delicious food for snacks at school, the excitement for what all would be done today in the breaks between school periods, the excitement of reaching early to school to engage with everyone despite not liking the process of getting up early, the freeness felt at the end of school, finishing homework that was almost too easy to be called work, evening playtimes… Where did it all go wrong?
When did we grow so fast… or am I just feeling this because of this pandemic? Why do I not see myself living that carefree life rather than sucked into this competition so quick?
Why do I not feel myself enjoying certain days than days that were just different in their way? Why do I not feel the joy in being allowed that one hour of TV after homework despite having the freedom to binge-watch all day?
Why is that that even after I keep taking breaks it never feels like one? Where did the summer vacations go that were looked forward to by everyone?
Sometimes I wish I could go back there when life wasn’t so fast. When school seemed so long and every day seemed to last.
Why does this freedom of adulthood feel so restrictive… why did the restrictions of youth feel so free? Why is it that I dreamt of writing novels each day but now just end up writing a couple or three?
